Girlfriend Longs to Say: Bend Over, Posh Boy!

51xemNsMx2L._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA278_PIkin4,BottomRight,-52,22_AA300_SH20_OU01_This seems to be the kind of blogging place where adults can chat about sexual kink and for that I’m very grateful for the outlet. If my friends knew what I wanted, if my boss, heaven forbid, found out, then they’d label me a freak and I’d be chased out of the exclusive social group I currently enjoy. Chelsea is like that, you’re either in or out, and I guess that’s a pun in itself. I want to be in ‘and’ out—of my boyfriend that is, over and over and over!

I’ll call him Tristan—naturally that isn’t his real name—though I did know a Tristan once, but I wouldn’t want to ‘do’ him… I digress, sorry. Tristan, my current stud, is a polo player and I really, really do want to ‘do’ him.

It all started, this wanting my man to bend over so I could take control, when I read an erotic ebook book—yes, I know, a cliché—it was on my friend’s Kindle. She’d leant me it to read some boring politician’s biography and I found it in the archives. I guess she’d tried to discard it after reading. Anyway the author was Paris Brandon and it was called, if memory serves me right, Bend Over Cowboy.

I started reading, not believing it could possibly be about what I thought it was going to be about. But blow me down with a feather, it bloody well was!  This girl had bought a big old strap-on and she wanted to take her boyfriend, some sex-stud cowboy, up the arse, you know, poke it in where the sun doesn’t shine! I didn’t think civilised people did this, I’m still not sure if they do…but if they write about it then…maybe!

I read it twice and knew for sure this fictional bent-double cowboy taking a jolly good seeing to had a wild time. He climaxed as hard as a man ever could, so it seemed. And the trust he had to put in his woman, the bond it produced between them, it completely fascinated me. More than fascinated me, I wanted it! (By the way, I looked at reviews about the biography I was supposed to be reading before handing back the Kindle; I pretended I’d read it, that was bad of me.) But what is even worse is now I can’t stop looking at Tristan whenever he turns around, at the bar, in the stable, when he’s approaching the bench at work (he’s a barrister). I literally ogle his long lean back, his tight arse cheeks and strong thighs and imagine him naked and stooped before me. I’m sure he’d tremble, his skin would be shiny with sweat and his buttocks, which I know are a fraction paler than the rest of his skin, would be parted by his hands exposing his darkest hole, his secret place. His eagerness to have me penetrate would be so acute he’d be panting, his heart rate sky high and his hair would be damp against the nape of his neck.

When I see this vision I imagine myself wearing a big, black (I don’t know why black, it’s just what comes to mind) cock. It’d be heavy in my hand and I’d bounce it in my palm, savouring the solidity of it and the meaty weight. Knowing that I had what he wanted would be such a massive turn on!

Tristan would have to beg for it. I’m not just shoving it in willy nilly. He’d have to ‘ask’ me to fuck his arsehole, demand that I give him what he wants—no, make that what he needs.

But of course this is all fantasy. He’d probably run a mile if I suggested it. What kind of upstanding man would show his pucker to his woman? Especially a woman who wears a twin set and pearls by day and chases around after an old fogey of a solicitor? But if this is what I have hidden beneath my layers, is it possible he has private yearnings beneath his? And what are the chances that they match mine? He might be too afraid to ask. He’s perhaps even done it before, with Judith, that bloody ballerina he dated yonks ago and who still insists on sending him a Christmas card. Cow.

I guess what I’m saying, or even asking is, has anyone else posed the question to the man in their life and if so how did you do it? I can’t imagine it would go down well in a birthday card or in a text message. Romantic meal perhaps? Or maybe I should just don the cock and sneak beneath the duvet in the dark, see if he’ll let me take advantage of him that first time…

Any advice gratefully received,


ALICE SAYS: You can buy Bend Over Cowboy HERE


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